Da da da. Da da da da da. We are now proud to present the much anticipated guest entry from"The Girls." Our trip went by in a blur, however we would like to thank the "Little Girls" for giving us a reason to visit the motherland. As we have now had two days of rest and relaxation down the shore we find ourselves reminiscing on the highlights of our Great Russian Adventure 2009. After finding the little girls (who following our distinct instructions were clean, showered, and fully laundered. yay!) we embarked on St. Petersburg determined to take it by storm. Luckily when our flight landed it was still light and we had at least 4 hours to get started (can we mention how confusing nearly endless daylight is to the jetlagged body and mind?). The little girls were elated at our arrival and Amanda did an excellent impression of a Bolshoi ballerina running across the lobby to hug our necks.
St. Petersburg was a surprise in its exquisite architecture and mullet haircuts (choice, not product of function). We all made sure to sit on Peter the Great's lap so we would be sure to visit another time.
We (aka Maggie) found this sign highly amusing. It details all of the "don'ts" for the Peter and Paul fortress. But there was no English translation so we guessed: No jumping off of the roof? No playing the saxophone? No alcoholics? Definitely no snow skiing. No pregnant people? And or sure, 100%, absolutely no leaning on trees and breaking them.
We saw where Catherine the Great was buried, and Amanda was called cheeky by a German tourist. Because Jessie cut the German tourist off on line to see where Nicholas, Alexandra and Anastasia were buried. Jessie apparently was not apologetic enough, so the tourist went after Ama
nda. Amanda's response? "No Engliski".Then on the Hermitage. We had a great tour, similar to an open house - we are all sold, and are ready to move in. Please forward mail to our attention, Winter Palace, Russia.
Then we went to the Church on the Spilled Blood.
Next was the Summer Palace, with its fountains. We decided we did not need a guide. So we stood on line for about an hour, went inside, and had no idea what we were seeing. But it was pretty. And the fountains were beautiful.
The we joined every other American in St. Petersburg for the ballet, at the Marinsky Theatre. It was a collection of scenes from other ballets. If we had had an English program, we would know what we saw. But, the theatre was old, fancy and beautiful, and the ballet was a perfect Russian experience.
On our train to Moscow, we made friends, rested and ate snacks from the grocery store we finally found. Upon arrival, we were met with our gracious host for our time in Moscow, Maggie's Uncle Mike's Friend, Nils. (Yeah, its a complicated connection). Nils surprised us by explaining that we would be going out that night, to a private Russian dinner club, and then out afterwards. It was about ten when we left. So we had our first real Russia vodka experience, with many shared shots. After our delicious dinner, Amanda's eyes nearly popped out of her head when Nils said, okay, lets really go out now. We did, for a little, and then home to our hotel to rest up for our big day of sightseeing the next day.
We met Dahlia/Daria, our tour guide for our time in Moscow. She made our trip, and we would highly recommend anyone in Moscow have her show you around. Luckily, we didn’t have to meet her till mid morning, which was good. Especially since we were all four sharing a room, moving slowly after our Big Night Out, and not bright eyed and bushy tailed that morning. Dahlia/Daria arranged a car to show us around Moscow, pointing out the major sights -- Red Square (insanely amazing), the Church of the Savior (was a church, Stalin bombed it, then a swimming pool, then made into a church again nine years ago), Moscow State University (our schools are definitely not that grand), the statue of Peter the Great (which was rumored to have been commissioned for the U.S. as a statue of Columbus, then when the U.S. didn't want it, Moscow took it and changed the face to Peter's), a convent and many other things that were unexpected and a blur. Then a nice, relaxing boat tour down the Moscow River, and a little shopping in open-air markets. We got to put our bargaining skills to work. We were good bargainers!
We went to dinner at the Academy of Sciences (which Dalia/Daria calls the Brainy building, since people that go there are so smart) and had another late night.
Since the little girls already covered our visit to the Kremlin, Armory and, especially the Diamond Fund, we don't have to repeat. But, Jessie is serious about selling just one diamond to end the 'crisis'. And, if they are looking to barter for legal services, she knows just the buyer.
We saw St. Basil's Cathedral, went to the mall at GUM department store, bought chocolate and vodka, walked home, bought more chocolate and vodka and went to dinner. We were excited about the delicious chicken parmesan, delectably described on the English menu as chicken with tomato sauce and cheese. Who knew that the friend chicken and french fries that arrived was chicken parm.
After we mastered the subway the next morning, we got in line for Lenin's Tomb. And waited. And waited. As a bonus, we got to see the Russian version of the changing of the guards. Two guards stood there, two more showed up and they switched places. Hooray! We finally checked our cell phones, checked our cameras and made our way into the mausoleum. It was pitch black. No talking, no crossed arms, no chewing gum, and, as Maggie found out, no stopping as we walked past Lenin's body.
Then, sad, the little girls had to go to the airport to start their trans-Siberian adventure. Maggie and Jessie went off to finish up their shopping, and final attempt to stimulate the Russian economy. And again, we were good bargainers!
Maggie and Jessie were rock stars, and went to a super trendy, fun restaurant (Galeryia). We watched to woman next to us (not Russian), drink so much that she had to be escorted back and forth to the bathroom, pass out at the table, and be walked out of the restaurant. We were glad it wasn’t us. Then there was a little urchin boy - and we think, based on our newly acquired Russian translation skills, that he was offering to tell tables jokes in exchange for money. But he must have realized we didn’t speak any Russian, as he never offered to regale us with jokes. Another late night for us.
The next morning, we met Dalia/Daria for our last day of sightseeing. Intending to go to the Stanislavski House, but, since it was not open until noon, we stopped at the Gorky House. It was an art nouveau house, with an amazing staircase. But, the guide was not happy when we inquired as to who Gorky was. When we finally broke free from the very enthusiastic Gorky expert, we went to the Stanislavski House. Maggie guaranteed her future theatre success by touching the doorknob and making a wish.
Our most memorable experience in Russia was next. We went to the banya, or bath house. We decided that after all of sightseeing and walking, we deserved a massage. So, we went in, paid our admission, got the requisite towels, sheets and robes, tried to go in the sauna but quickly realized it was way too hot. After asking about our massages, the traditional Russian massage with birch branches, we were told that our bodies were not ready yet and we needed to go in the sauna first. So we did. Then our masseuse, the Russian woman who had been walking around the sauna, came to get Jessie. We don’t know her name, but assume it was Olga. She laid a yoga mat down on the top level of the sauna and told Jessie to lie down. And proceeded to beat Jessie with birch branches and birch leaves. Then, she took Jessie out of the sauna and poured buckets of cold water on her. An unknowing Maggie went through the same thing. And ended up covered with birch leaves, and with broken capillaries all over her chest. Yes, we paid a giant Russian woman to beat us with birch leaves. It was far from what we thought we were getting, but has made for a great story. Unsurprisingly, we treated ourselves to cocktails and appetizers at the new Ritz Carlton in Moscow. It was at the top of the building, with a gorgeous view, but those four drinks and four appetizers cost four times as much as most of our full meals.
And then it was time to go. We had a relatively uneventful trip back to New York, managed the ten hour flight just fine and enjoyed being able to yell at people in English at Kennedy airport.
A few things we noticed about Russia:
-everyone gets flowers, all the time. Not fair.
-people dress a little like clowns. Weird.
-people don’t wait in line at theatres for the bathroom, they wait for the bar. Lucky for us.
-if you can say please in Russian, you can also say thank you, excuse me, get out of my way, and would you mind helping me with directions, nice man.
-we felt safe and welcome throughout Russia, and people went out of their way to make sure we had a good trip.
We will return the blog to the little girls, who we understand just crossed over the China border.
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